taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
