just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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