That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
