So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
