the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
