What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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