Im at strip club and am horny
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
