I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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