Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There's always time for handjobs
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize