His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
