Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
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