Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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