Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
