so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
