And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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