It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
