Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
