please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
