is your mom at the bar?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
