he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
