were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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