Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
