You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
