Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
