I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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