New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
