I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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