he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
