How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
