Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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