Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Randomize
