I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
