I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
