chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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