i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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