My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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