weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
