All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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