You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
