I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
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