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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
