dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
