Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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