I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
