When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
