i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
ttyl tear gas
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
