I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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