***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
