nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
