How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
