My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
someone owes me an orgasm
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
