i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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